Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!