Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

all in all it was a good orgy

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

imgonna r@pe you

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

-Get in the Van

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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