hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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- You look really nice - I know

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!