- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

Still a better love story than Twilight

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book