Do you live around here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +164

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Do you want to see something swell?

thumb_up thumb_down -69

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

thumb_up thumb_down +54

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -153

At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

thumb_up thumb_down +152

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

thumb_up thumb_down -54

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down +68

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

thumb_up thumb_down -110

*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

thumb_up thumb_down -184

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!