Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!