- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Do you want to see something swell?

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Do you live around here often?

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book