Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!