-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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I hate you already.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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