Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!