Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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You smell just like my mom...

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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