Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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"Next!"

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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jack sanders

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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