This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

thumb_up thumb_down -76

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

thumb_up thumb_down -25

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!