- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

"Next!"

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book