- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

hey baby i just came in my pants

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book