Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!