Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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adam burdass

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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You allergic to semen?

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!