Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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