M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!