That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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