- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

Are you from Wales, because...well...

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Stable relationships are for horses.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- sound of gun clicking Woman: Thanks!

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book