Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +185

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

thumb_up thumb_down +125

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -51

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

thumb_up thumb_down +148

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

thumb_up thumb_down +95

I hate you already.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

thumb_up thumb_down +41

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!