Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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haha

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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I hate you already.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!