- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book