Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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I hate you already.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!