HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!