Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

adam burdass

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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