Stable relationships are for horses.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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