i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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