M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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You allergic to semen?

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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