Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!