Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!