Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I'm desperate, you'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

your boobs are bigger than my nose

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down -64

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

thumb_up thumb_down +79

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

thumb_up thumb_down -43

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!