Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!