Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!