Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!