Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!