Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Hello children! :D

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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