Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Hello children! :D

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!