Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!