your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!