Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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free candy....

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!