Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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