Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!