Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!