Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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I'll punch ya!

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!