Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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