Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I'll eat your poop

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

thumb_up thumb_down +63

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My therapist says I should meet new people.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!