How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!