Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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