Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!