Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!