- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

free candy....

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...goes into the guys restroom with her....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

Guy texting random girl: u must b wearing space pants cuz ur as is out of this world no im wearing baseball pants cuz my as is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

So, you're a girl, huh?

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book