My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

thumb_up thumb_down +153

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +59

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My therapist says I should meet new people.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -49

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

thumb_up thumb_down -77

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!