- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

So, you're a girl, huh?

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book