- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

My therapist says I should meet new people.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Boy : Gurle: hi

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book