Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

thumb_up thumb_down -90

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

My therapist says I should meet new people.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +67

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

thumb_up thumb_down -23

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

thumb_up thumb_down -89

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!