- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book